INDIANA JOE AND THE WALMART OF DOOM
Counselor Loren Greenblatt of the Jewish Transgender League positively glowed in the late morning sun poring into its favorite Starbucks. Oh, to be in Park Slope Brooklyn USSA! The very center of the progressive universe; more penises were chopped off here than anywhere else!
Counselor Loren relived yesterdays triumphant parent/teacher meeting where it received total cooperation/submission…
“And the best part is, NY State will now pay for gender reversal for pre-pubescent white males. The whole enchilada!”
The well-to-do democrat parents stared at Counselor Greenblatt with their passive moon faces and cut-and-paste smiles.
“It’s the best way to prevent white boys from growing into rapists.”
The idiots in the audience actually clapped and cheered; cheered for the death of everything their ancestors fought for…
Counselor Greenblatt closed its eyes and sucked delicious Pumpkin spice latte through a plastic straw. Oh, to be LBTGQ in the 21st century. Oh, the power!
The iPhone spy-Phone gifted to Loren personally by apple CEO sodomite Rim Cook, jumped to life with Lady Gagas’ ‘Born This Way’. It was the emergency line!
“Loren Greenblatt here. What do you want?”
“Hello!?! Counselor Loren Greenblatt of the Jewish Transgender League? You told me to call you if I was ever persecuted by Nazis, well I’m calling!!!”
Instantly Counselor Loren tensed up as its senses came alive, “Nazis, really? Tell me more sweetie… Stop crying so much, it’s like your getting snot on my phone or something.”
“This is Frederica, do you remember me?”
“I meet a ton of gender-queers honey. What do you look like?”
“I’m, I’m…” Freddie sniffled and spoke in a dramatic whisper, “I’m 6’2”, about 227, Oh, why do I lie?!? 235 lbs. I’m wearing a blond wig, a tight sweater with pointy tits. Oh, oh, and I wear a lot of red lipstick.”
“Me too, only I’m solid muscle. I detest fatties!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for living!”
“Stop crying, I was only kidding. Tell me all about the Nazis.”
LATER AT THE GYM
Loren pumped iron and considered its next move; up down, up down, rep, rep. Lorens’ pointy tits rose and fell like steel pyramids up, down, up, down. The time had come to take the queer crusade to the infamous Indiana Joe and his traditional crusaders. Throughout history the Jew had always gone where it was least wanted, and now this Jew would invade Indiana with an army of wrathful trannies!
Victory was assured with the deep pockets of the deep state and by mandate of the status quo social enforcers. After the Jewish Transgender League smashed what was left of the white bread patriarchy in middle America, fly-over country would be swimming with LGTBQs!
Counselor Greenblatts’ dense, sinewy muscles expanded and contracted as it worked up a sweat, ‘BEEP BEEP BEEP!’ The no-grunt alarm went off again due to Loren’s Hi-T extra enthusiasm.
An LGTBQ blob with pink hair waddled over, and pointing at the sign said, “I’m sorry to inform Ze, but we have a strict no grunting policy. Grunting oppresses, so please stop grunting.”
ON THE TARMAC
They were at the airport, standing in front of the plane. Counselor Greenblatt congratulated the mayor, “When I said ‘bring me the scummiest trannies the meat market has to offer’ you really delivered!”
“We emptied out Rikers Island, mostly shop lifters and prostitutes, but some tough, tough ladies. I’m glad they’re democrats.”
“Thank you mister Mayor, you are a true friend to the Jewish people!”
“My wife La-Shirley wants to go punch Nazis with you, but the doctor said her ‘wilding’ days are over; if her penis comes off again, they might not be able to get it back on.”
Counselor Loren Greenblatt surveyed the assembled scum tranny commandos. There were about 30 of them; all that would fit on the NYC police anti-terror turboprop (with the air conditioning on full blast). There would be no point in trying to make these crazy he/she’s stand at attention, but what they lacked in discipline they made up for with other-wordly scariness!
Most were fresh from jail, but they didn’t look fresh. Many were over six feet and appeared well fed. They wore ghetto synthetic wigs and waited in small groups gossiping, some applying stolen makeup, some smoking crack.
Dressed in a Tartan skirt, Counselor Greenblatt stood at the top of the boarding ramp, with its back to the planes open door hatch, it stuck its fingers deep in its mouth and blew a loud whistle.
“Listen up front-holes!”
The tranny talk stopped and these scorned, twisted and degenerate souls, with eyes bent on vengeance stared up at Counselor Greenblatt.
“There’s a girl out there who needs our help. No one cares about her; you don’t care, I don’t care, but we’ve got to care! We’ve just got to!
“Her name is Frederica. Right now she’s hiding in the ladies room, in some shitty Walmart in Indiana.” The he/she’s grumbled.
“The worse part is, she’s being persecuted by Nazis! Never again girls! We’ve got to go punch those Nazis! Show who the real… uh, show them who has the balls!..”
“Do you want me to kill myself!?!” A couple of borderlines shouted. “I cut my balls off!”
“Well, you know what I mean.” The freaks were put off by that last part.
“Don’t be so bitchy! I know we have no balls. It’s just a phrase, OK? We have we have sacrificed our testicles. We will show the Nazis who has the bigger spirit balls!”
The activists cheered.
“Always remember the holocaust girls. My grandparents were in the camps. The Nazis made them watch videos of Trump rallies!”
The he/she’s eyeballs rolled in unison with ‘Trump derangement syndrome’.
“So Freddie, that’s what her friends call her…”
“I know Freddie.” One of the trans-persons interrupted. “She gives hand jobs at the truck stop on 95.”
“That’s her.” Replied Counselor Loren.
“That’s not her. Freddie gives blowjobs on route 80.” Insisted a dirty thing in a dirty skirt.
“GIRLS! Freddie gets around.” Counselor Loren took back control of the conversation. It scanned the audience and rolled its eyes.
“It could be anyone of us. Peacefully transitioning. Being a good member of society, growing breasts, and all of a sudden Nazis are attacking. Saying mean things. Taking away our rights!
“Many of you know Frederica, she’s a kind soul, whether at the Truck stop, or jail, or Starbucks. Freddie is a ray of sunshine on an otherwise dark, dark, dark day.
“We’re getting on that plane and flying to white bread Indiana. We’ll rescue Freddie and show those white Nazis what a real queer holocaust looks like!
“Who wants to punch Nazis!?!” Shouted Counselor Loren Greenblatt of the Jewish Transgender League rhetorically.
The trans-persons were stirred up and agitated, hot and bothered.
“I want to punch Nazis in the face!”
“What’s in it for me?” seemed to be the larger concern for the rowdy trans-mercenaries. Before things got ugly the mayor of NYC climbed up some steps of the boarding ramp.
“Thank you all for coming. Before I begin let me say that trans New Yorkers are some of the best New Yorkers. And for everybody that punches a Nazi, your record will be wiped clean!”
“I don’t care about my record being wiped clean. You beastly man!” Shot back a glitter covered synthetic green-blond in alligator boots with open sores.
“We don’t care about records!”
“I don’t have a record. I volunteered. What’s in it for me?” Posed up another trans New Yorker.
“Free housing, free EBT cards, free needles, free drugs, everything is on the table. The more you fight for democracy, the more democracy fights for you!” The mayor grinned at his trans-stituents who were loath to show appreciation.
“That’s right, girls.” Counselor Loren took control. “These Nazis are worse than Trump! They call themselves ‘Traditional Crusaders’ to fool you, but we know what they really are. Their leader is Indiana Joe. You leave him to me.
“Now is not the time to be nice. We need to piss on these white men! Piss on their way of life. Piss on the American dream!” A volunteer handed out Xlax brand laxatives as the perverts climbed the ramp and boarded the plane.
MEANWHILE DOWN IN INDIANA
Security was high at the trailer park and adjacent Walmart. Outside, clad in black, the crusaders did double guard duty. Inside, Indiana Joe, his jet black uni-brow furrowed, sat with his massive frame in his humming massage chair. Joe watched his iPhone, and finally it barked to life.
“The plane just took off commander.”
“Very good.” Joe summoned his adjutant. “Lumps, come in here.”
Lumps came up the folding stairs into the command trailer. He snapped to attention.
“Tell Sheriff Beegsley I want to see him immediately.”
To be continued…